One of the hardest things for me after my assault was when some of the people I cared about continued to be friends with my attacker and still wanted to be friends with me. I had been traumatized, as many of the abuse victims in this situation are. Then, to make it worse, people I trusted began to welcome my abuser back with open arms. Some believed he had changed, and thought he deserved a second chance. I felt betrayed. By letting him back in, they were condoning his actions. I lost most of my friends because of this, and in my case, my attacker had not changed his behavior.
Whether or not the abusers have changed, by welcoming them back into the community, you are likely hurting the people most in need of support: the victims. You are belittling them, dismissing their feelings, adding to their trauma, and, in some cases, delaying their recovery.
I don’t speak for all abuse and assault victims, but I thought it may be useful to post one survivor’s perspective. I am sure there are other narratives, but please think about how you may be making an abuse or assault survivor feel when you welcome their attacker back into the community. Healing from abuse or assault can be a long process, and as a community, we should be helping people heal, not continuing trauma.
Please don’t talk to the abusers, watch their videos or engage with them in any way. It will not help us move on.
If you’d like to share your thoughts on welcoming back perpetrators of abuse, send us an ask or tag your post with #healthy youtube.
There’s a scene in the 1993 movie Demolition Man where all the radio stations play are commercial jingles from past decades. The joke being these jingles replaced pop music in the future.
So tonight I’ve been listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival’s greatest hits album Chronicle. And man, I feel like I’m in that scene.
Levitra or Cialis or whichever penis pill has used at least two of these songs, and Kellogg has used one. Pretty sure Fidelity Investments used one too.
Then of course you have “Fortunate Son” which every movie about the Vietnam War ever has featured over footage of helicopters and fields.
If these songs weren’t still so good I’d declare them ruined.
I have that album! Both volumes, in fact. ”Down on the Corner” is in Walgreens commercials.
I just thinking about this a few days ago - how commercial entities buy into the emotional value that people have already put into those songs and use it to sell things.
- Kid: Dad, you should get Serra Mist [sic]!
- Dad: No, I don't think so.
- Kid: Get Mountain Dew!
- Dad: I think I'll get something really exciting, like un-sweetened ice tea.
Anonymous said: were you never offered the opportunity to learn another language in school? in Europe this is the norm but in America no one seems to do it
A lot of white Americans hold this racist view that “this is America we speak one language” as a tool to discriminate against non-English speaking immigrants (and immigrants who speak with an accent) and it’s basically backfired because we have this whole country of people that don’t place importance on speaking multiple languages when it would actually be super beneficial. To answer your question though, I took three years of Spanish in high school but learning foreign languages in public schools tends to be kind of a joke (at least where I live) and most people are only taught enough to pass the class.
Excuse me but not all of America is like that. My highschool makes you take two year of a foreign language and many people are happy about this. I know plenty of kids who enjoy these classes. There are also middle schools where I live that offer Spanish and French classes and most of my friends took those classes. America as a whole may not be entirely found of learning more than one language but we are making progress and I think that is something very important to recognize.
NOT ALL AMERICA
My point is, based on the way that a lot of high school foreign language classes are structured, two years is not going to be anywhere near enough to become fluent in any language. Also, might I add that many schools and universities are cutting ethnic studies programs, rather than adding to them because they don’t understand their importance. It’s also incredibly difficult to implement these programs in the first place.
Can I just add? I studied French for four years at two high schools and one (300 level) semester at university. There came a point in the second year where I thought to myself, “maybe this is just not working because all the people who are here are only here out of requirement?” but no. At literally every level, most of the class had to have things explained to them in English and could not actually hold a conversation, let alone explain the topics.
Cut to me teaching English in Korea, where I was debating the efficacy and ethics of subliminal advertising, using a college textbook, with seventh and eighth graders. There is literally no comparison.
The amount of effort and importance place on foreign language education is abysmal.
One of the things about foreign language is that it’s better to learn it early, so introducing them in high school already has that against it regardless of who’s teaching or how or how well.
But I do agree that (in my experience) foreign language generally isn’t taught all that well. I had to take a semester of German in the spring (to fulfill the foreign language requirement so I could graduate [because apparently I couldn’t substitute a year of Latin for one semester of German]), and about halfway through the semester, the professor told us that since only three people in the class understood the grammatical aspects, he was going to take the emphasis off the grammar and make all of the grammar-centric questions on the test extra credit. And what’s the point of learning a foreign language without learning the grammar? (Unless it was just getting the foreign language credit…)
My last semester (maybe even the whole last year, I can’t remember) of high school German was basically working through the text book on my own because there were only three students in German IV, and the teacher focused on the German III students who met during the same class time. That’s more an instance of lack of resources, but it still evidences the point.
Things I saw:
- Peanut butter chips. Which is apparently the missing element in the analogy “Hershey bars:chocolate chips::Reese’s peanut butter cups:_____.”
- A guy whose t-shirt was tucked into his elastic shorts.
- A sign (at a fire station!) that said, “You drive, you drive, you loose.” I’m not sure how this compares to an-other local sign: “Buy one, get one free items.”